Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do you write?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How does a 45-year-old man get a girlfriend?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

How long can a marriage survive after a long-term affair?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Are democrats inherently stupid or just lazy? They can Google " Ohio is investigating reports by residents that migrants are eating the local wildlife " why can't they seem to do the most simple things? Blind, ignorant, stupid or obtuse?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How do I deal with autistic burnout/meltdown/shutdown when cooking?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do I feel sleepy after massage?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”